The Adolescent Brain & Social Media

The age requirement for major social media platforms is 13+. As highlighted in my previous post, this magic number '13' was derived from the privacy and data collection laws that forbids social media platforms from collecting data of children under the age of 13 without parental consent.

Thus, it is important to reiterate that the age requirement of 13+ does not take into any consideration the cognitive abilities of our adolescent and teens. Because if cognitive maturity was actually a key factor for social media use, the age requirements will be raised to 25+ (which in accordance to brain research is the average age when our brains fully mature). Doesn't this 12-year cognitive growth gap fully illuminate the reasons why our young today are facing a concerning trend of negative consequences from their engagement with social media?

As parents to teens, the 'But-all-my-friends-are-on social-media!' reasoning is often enough to pull at our heartstrings. It is very tempting to say 'yes' because no one wants their child to feel left out of conversations at school or lose that social connection. It wasn't easy for us as well, but at the same time, we know enough about social media ills to make the firm decision that it isn't the right time for my daughter and our family. I am thankful that through ongoing conversations (a lot of it!), my daughter understands and appreciates the boundaries we have agreed upon and set as a family. She talks about the occasional TikTok trends that she heard about in school, but has not been bothered or felt like she is missing out. This was especially the case when she and her friends had to be without their phones on a week-long school camp - unlike her peers, she enjoyed the liberating freedom of not having to worry about losing her Snapstreak!

My approach to safeguarding is not to advocate for all parents to have their teens live under a rock nor outrightly deny their teens of social media. Rather, I believe in empowering them with the science of their adolescent minds so that they are better able to understand the neuroscience that drives their actions or emotions on social media and thereby the need to self-moderate its use to find a healthy balance.

This post has been written and presented in a teen-friendly manner so that you can go through the content together with your child. We will start off with a video by Dan Siegel which beautifully illustrates the complexities of adolescent brain development in an accessible way.

As described in the video, the rich abundance of neural connections formed through experiences and knowledge constructed during childhood will undergo 'pruning' - with the strengthening of connections that are actively engaged and used, whilst underutilised connections are systematically 'pruned' away. The implication of this will be that it is a crucial period of 'use it or lose it' and for your teen, it is the time to reinforce learned skills and be more proficient in areas that they have been interested in. This is the period whereby the 'potential' that your child demonstrated in their childhood becomes more specialised.

What your teen chooses to do with their time, activities and attention will determine what gets pruned away. Thus, the opportunity cost of spending 5 hours online each day (average screen time for tweens in US based on Common Sense Media survey in 2022) will be the 5 hours of lost time during which your child could be discovering their proficiency in a sport or in the arts or enjoying literature and music, honing their conversational and social skills having face-to-face interactions with their peers. During this time whereby the brain decides to 'use it or lose it', the stakes are higher as it isn't just a matter of time idled and wasted by your teen, but with the potential implication that their learnt skills from their childhood may be pruned away because the skills are no longer put to active use.

The pre-frontal cortex, responsible for higher order and logical thinking, is the last part of the brain to undergo pruning and myelination. This explains why adolescence is associated with heightened emotions because our teens are relying more on the part of their brain responsible for emotions and instinct to respond and make decisions. (Side note to lessen parental guilt: The storming into their room and/or door slamming is not targeted at 'you' but partly because of neuroscience!)

With the complex remodeling of the brain that leads to more emotional and sensitive responses, it is no wonder why the social media with its stresses of peer pressure and acceptance/rejection, can be even more challenging for our teens to cognitively cope.

Given that the myelin formation makes neuron transmission in our teen's brain function 3000 times more efficient than it used to, shouldn't their brains get a breather? Ruminating on the number of 'likes' or the endless feeds of the 'fabulous' lives of their peers is hardly a reprise for the brain.

We already know that the pre-frontal cortex is the last part of the brain that matures, hence logical decision making and impulse control comes on much later. During adolescence, there is also an growth of dopamine receptors and increased dopamine supply in the brain. Dopamine is our 'happy' neurotransmitters and in social media terms, a 'like' or a highly viewed post equates to a dopamine rush that our brain will enjoy thus incentivised to continue the thrill seeking.

Coupled with the 'Infinite Scroll' of social media and algorithms that systematically work to keep us glued to the apps, the science of social media marries the science of the adolescent brain to naturally create strong, attracting forces for our teens to stay online. Just take a moment to consider - if many adult minds find social media so addictive and find it hard to detox or break the cycle, let alone the dopamine-enhanced adolescent brains of our teens.

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In view of the scientific evidence of our teen's brain undergoing this “rewiring” process that is not complete until adulthood at 25 years of age, we should collectively question if the age requirement of 13+ is appropriate for our teens because this is the age whereby their brain remodeling just begun! If I loosely draw a parallel, it almost feels like the equivalent of a toddler who just honed their fine motor skills to grip a crayon and that is when the parent then decides that it will be the best idea to hand the toddler a sharp object to explore with it. We often forget that there are significant developmental milestones in our children's growth that need to be met before our bodies are built to be ready to accept the challenges and adventures that awaits them in life.

I will end this post with a sharing from Matthew McConaughey's Instagram post earlier in July, when both he and his wife announced their consent for their son's use of social media, as their gift for his 15th birthday. What struck many and resonated closely with me is the intentionality of their carefully measured decision; their decision reflected deep thinking around their son's identity formation and his readiness to engage with the forces and pressures of social media. I especially love that they do not hide their fears as parents, threading with trepidation as they send their son into the world of social media, knowing full well that it can at times be so harsh and unforgiving. Yet, it shows that it is a cohesive family decision, years in the making but they know it is now time to celebrate and honour the beautiful stories that their son will share.

Credits: Access Hollywood

I choose to live in a world whereby I believe in the power of 'the ripple effect'. If more families have the same intentionality in discussing their teen's social media use, collectively, we are putting in safeguards to protect our child and others. On this note, I encourage you to share this blog with your teen to start those conversations and perhaps share one key takeaway with another parent. It only takes one conversation to start a ripple effect :)

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References

• Raising Children: The Australian Parenting Site (2021): Brain development in pre-teens and teenagers

• Healthy Within (2022): The Teen Brain-Smartphone & Social Media Addictions